I couldn’t stop myself. I know that I have a lot to learn to be able to do digital arts, but drawing is one thing I believe I’m blessed with so I did this.
The day before yesterday, Max Lucado tweeted this:
I’ve never been surprised by God’s judgment, but I’m still stunned by his grace. #WhenGodWhispers
And I share the same thoughts. I felt the same that day as well.
When some of my professors and instructors uploaded our grades in FB groups, I didn’t look at them. I told myself that I would face everything once SystemOne updated. It did last night.
I was watching the 10th anniversary show of M!Countdown when I saw some friends’ tweets about it and my heart started beating fast at once. I wasn’t ready. Around the afternoon I was talking about it with my mother then that happened. I was enjoying M!Countdown and thought of not looking at my grades because it might make me not enjoy it, but then I thought that if I waited longer, I may still not enjoy the show, so I decided to get over it quickly. I grabbed my laptop and opened my account.
My eyes quickly skimmed through the screen and I broke into a grin once I didn’t saw the dreaded 5.0. This past four months, I was praying hard for three subjects: CMSC 2, FIL 21, and COMA 104.
CMSC 2 is an elective subject. I know that I did poorly in. It was mostly group work and I wasn’t able to help much because there are other group works (107’s) that I thought needed to put much more importance to.
FIL 21 is a core subject. I thought I was going to fail because my exams were not good and I wasn’t reciting frequently. My written works were not good as well. I wasn’t even able to completely read Berinareu, our required reading there. I was - and still am - embarrassed because my professor here is my adviser.
Last but definitely not the least, COMA 104. Language and Culture. I was quite sure I was to repeat this. My professor here happened to be one of the “notorious” professors. He has failed a lot of students in his different classes already. Together with most of my classmates, I checked my partial standing on the day of our supposedly last class meeting which our professor didn’t attend to because he was on leave, though I still don’t know why he was in the department that day. The results we saw almost broke our hearts. I myself almost teared up; I got 4.0. Had I not got a few points higher, I would have got a 5.0. And so, this was the subject I really dreaded to see.
When I saw my grades here, I really couldn’t help but praise God! I can’t think of any other reason why I got good grades in CMSC 2 (despite my lack of focus) and FIL 21 (despite my poor performance). And most of all, I can’t think of anything but God’s love for a reason as to why I got the golden 3.0 in COMA 104. To top it all, I got a 1.0 - my very first! - in THEA 107, the course that needed as much attention as a newborn baby. It was the course I had some requirements passed late. It was the course that had us involved into a big production. I had some absences during the production because of the youth services and cell group meetings I chose to attend to instead. Now, I’m glad I didn’t miss them. I know I don’t deserve these grades, but it wouldn’t be grace if I deserved it.
I remember our pastor here saying that more than his difficulty understanding the Holy Trinity, the one he said that is most difficult to understand is God’s love. I wholeheartedly agree.
In His love I am drowning.